Everyday Life

(Hi everyone! I am going to be periodically posting the blogs that I wrote, but never shared, while in Paris over the next week or two. Enjoy!). 

Here in Paris, I share an apartment in the 12th arrondissement with five other girls in my program. I love the apartment, it has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a nicely sized living room, a dining table, and a well-equipped kitchen. My routine definitely changes from day to day. With a destabilized schedule, everyday we have different classes at different times. The irregularity of my days keeps my weeks exciting, as there is always something new to look forward to. However, most days consist of a dance class or two and then some sort of exploration in Paris before returning home for dinner. 

There are so many differences between Paris and the U.S., but here are some of the ones I’ve found to be important:

1. Restaurant Culture

The entire culture of eating out is different in Paris. Usually in America, when I plan to go out with my friends, I “schedule” about two hours max, thinking that I will be at the restaurant no longer than an hour and a half. I notice when planning meals with friends in Paris, I schedule four hours because I am often at the restaurants for at least two. As an employee at a restaurant in America, I can confirm that the U.S. culture is about rushing customers in and out. As a hostess, I am always searching for which tables look nearly finished in order to plan where the next customers may go. As bad as it is to say, sometimes when the restaurant has had a two hour wait, the servers and I have removed plates from tables in order to politely prompt the customers to wrap up. The French would never do this. With so many restaurants and cafés within walking distance, there is hardly ever a wait. The waitstaff never rush you out, instead they leave you alone until you ask for the check. You could sit for hours conversing before asking for the check, but once you do ask, it is expected that you finish up and leave. In addition to this, another difference in restaurant culture is that the French do not tip. Sometimes, I will leave extra change for exceptional service, but more often than not, I walk away paying exactly what the total is. Because of this, servers do not check on customers unnecessarily as we see in the U.S. Sometimes, the servers may come off as cold or not caring, but I believe this is simply because they do not have to please or extend themselves for the customers. The food does the work on its own to attract people, not the waitstaff. When the servers do come over to you, at least in my own experience, you order drinks and food at the same time. They don’t make as many trips to the table as U.S. servers are expected to, and ordering in one visit exemplifies this. Another major difference in the eating-out culture is with take-away. This is extremely less popular in Paris than in the U.S. If restaurants do have “to go”, they usually advertise it on the outside of the place, because it may be an additional selling point. Fast food chains offer “to go” or à emporter, but this is definitely not conventional for most restaurants, and take-away cannot be expected anywhere outside of Burger King and Mcdo (the French nickname for McDonalds). Another difference I’ve noticed in Paris involving eating out is the ability to modify the menu. In the U.S., I’ve been raised in a culture in which modifying the menu is absolutely acceptable. You can request something be removed from a meal, added, or even ask for something not listed. And, for the most part, the restaurant will provide you with what you ask if it’s possible. In Paris, modification is looked down upon. Because of how highly the food is regarded, changing the menu is insulting to the chef. Unless it’s for allergy purposes, you should not ask to change the food at all. I learned this the hard way a few years ago in northern France, when I went out to dinner with my friend and her French family. When I asked for a plain burger without the toppings listed, the server reacted a bit, and her mother had to explain that I was American and did not know any better. After this experience, I never asked to modify a French menu again. If I do not like something, I can modify it myself by not eating that item. The last difference I’ve found here in Paris is that there are no hostesses. Most places are seat yourself, or a server will lead you to a table. However, I have yet to see a dedicated hostess position in a restaurant. In addition, when I visited London and Scotland, restaurants did not have a hostess, either. Maybe this is a European standard. These are the biggest differences in restaurant culture that I’ve noticed between Paris and the United States. 

2. Grocery Shopping

Grocery shopping is another very big difference between Paris and the U.S. Walking into grocery stores, they are a lot smaller than what I am accustomed to at home. There are fewer aisles, fewer registers, and fewer employees. There are three major grocery stores that I find myself at: Franprix, Picard, and Monoprix. Franprix is the one I visit most often, as there are numerous locations in very close proximity to my apartment. Monoprix is the bigger version of Franprix, but it is a bit farther from me, so I go there less. Lastly, Picard is a store for frozen meals. I go here for quick dinners and any frozen foods. One big difference that I’ve seen in customers at grocery stores is that it seems like people shop for a day or two, leaving with no more than two large bags full. In America, people leave with dozens of bags, filling cars. Even in my own household, when my mom usually gets home with the groceries, it requires several trips from the car to the kitchen, with every family member helping to carry bags. In Paris, whoever does the shopping carries their bags from the store to their home. I never see people checking out with a massive amount of items. Over time, I’ve learned to shop more frequently to avoid looking like an American when leaving a store. Not only do people usually leave with less items than in America, but the aisles are generally less stocked, too. Granted, nothing ever looks bare or low in supply, but there is less quantity per each item. In my home grocery stores, I am used to seeing twenty types of cereal, ten bread choices, and infinite selections and varieties. In Paris, the selection is limited. You always find what you want, but there are not thirty options of the same food. I prefer this, because it feels less wasteful and it brings the stores closer to having just necessities, something Americans could work on. Reusable bags are another big difference, as Paris charges for bags in stores, which motivates people to be more environmentally friendly. At the beginning of the semester, I bought a reusable bag which I use all of the time. I think this enhances the “lighter” shopping, as people can only buy enough to fill their reusable bag or two. From my own experience, you always bag your own items, too. Speaking at least for these three stores, they don’t hire people to bag, so instead each customer bags themselves while the cashier scans the items in. At times this can be stress inducing, as you have to finish putting everything in a bag before the cashier asks for the money; it’s a bit of multitasking. Those are the most prominent differences in the weekly, or daily, task of grocery shopping.

3. Sundays

Sundays are completely different than they are in the United States. In Paris, Sundays are meant to be spent with family. It is a day for Church, taking walks in parks, and spending time with others. Grocery stores are either closed or open for very limited hours. I quickly learned this because at home, Sundays are usually my family’s shopping day. The first few weeks in Paris I had to readjust, as I could no longer get food on Sundays. Even clothing stores and restaurants are hardly open on this day. Hours for everything completely shift, and after 2 pm, you cannot expect anything to be open. It becomes a ghost town for stores, yet people fill the streets with their families. As much as it was an annoyance the first month of being in Paris, I respect the fact that the French prioritize this time away from work. This reflects the clear separation of on and off time. When the French leave work, there is a clear finish to the job. They are not “on-call” like Americans are, where even at home people work; instead the French divide home life and work life, especially on Sundays when many workers are not needed.  Again, as Americans, this is sometimes a hassle, having to deal with not having immediate access to everything at all times, most notably on Sundays. Yet, it is part of the quality of living that the French have mastered, and I have learned to appreciate it. 

As for my everyday living, these are definitely the biggest differences I’ve had to accommodate to while living in Paris. There are dozens of smaller differences, including no drying machines, hardly any elevators, different floor numbering (the U.S. second floor is the French first floor), lack of A.C., and the obligatory greetings (you must say Bonjour/Bonsoir when entering anywhere), but these were less of an adjustment than the ones above. Overall, the differences in everyday life have been fascinating to learn about and practice, and it gives me much more gratitude and appreciation to be living this lifestyle and learning more about this culture that I love.